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[We Remember Them]

The tide recedes but leaves behind bright sea shells on the sand;
The sun goes down, but gentle warmth still lingers on the land;
The music stops, and yet it echoes on in sweet refrains
For every joy that passes, something beautiful remains.
Hadin Marshall

Our thoughts and prayers are with those members of the community who have anniversaries or birthdays in July. We invite those who have a special day this month to share about or honor their loved one by adding a post to this thread. (Click "reply" to add to this thread.) We also invite those reading these tributes to send a private message to the poster with their comforting thoughts.

The Moderator Team

[lanzualda]

Today would have been Jonathan's 28th birthday. Last night, I was just crushed by grief. I came home from work, and laid down on the bed, and I just could not get back up again. It was a terrible feeling. This Saturday will mark 2 months since he has been gone.
I am at work today, trying to keep my mind on other things, but I just keep coming back to this. We should be celebrating his birthday today and not grieving for what might have been. I feel like screaming and crying, but then I think about the pain he was in, that caused him to do this. The poor boy kept it so well hidden, beneath that beautiful smile. He was always joking and laughing, keeping all that sadness to himself.
I talked to his mom on Tuesday, and she is really having a hard time. She has alot of physical problems, on top of this crushing grief. I am not mad at her anymore, just sad. So sad. She lost her only son and I lost my best friend, my little brother, the sweetest guy in the world.
Happy Birthday Sweet Jonathan! I hope you found the peace you were looking for.

[nattyx]

Today... Well, yesterday (8th of July) was the day my boyfriend of 2 years, Anthony, commited suicide. (when ever I saw my boyfriend did it, people automatically assume its something I did... Its so hard to convince myself its not my fault when people who can't even imagine what its like to lose someone through suicide to say that... thats why i'm writing here) He wasn't just a boyfriend to me, I took him in and my dad welcomed him in the house and treated like his own son because my boyfriend's dad kicked him out of school and home... and now, after his passing... his family won't even talk to me, let alone not even disclose his grave location so I can NEVER visit him... ok sorry about my ranting.

It's been a year since I last saw him and it hurts that we never had any closure or any smiles before he decided to end his life. I miss him so much.

We went to where he jumped off to leave him flowers... Even after a year, I can see the faint blood stains and I broke down for the 5th time. I am a very spiritual person, so after visiting there, my family and I went to this island where we believed his spirit was. We spent the day there and I burnt letters and photos of us...

I didn't talk to my friends today but once I called my best friends, they were all trying to get me out to hang out with them... I love my friends and would have NO clue what I would do without them...


Sorry if I rambled, I just thought if I could write something about today, it would be here.. because at least people here have some sense of loss and grief... and spirituality.


thanks for reading.
-Natty
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- Natty

[Danni]

thinking of everyone who lost or had birthdays in July xxx
_________________
Joseph James, beloved brother (to me), son, brother in law, grandson and friend

4/6/1981 - 15/12/2008

sleep well my brother
http://joe-dante.gonetoosoon.org/memorial/

[daddygone]

My dad died May 1st and his b-day is coming up on the July 21st. I tried to always spend or do something with my dad on Father's day and his b-day; this year I had neither. Never will again. I just want to say I LOVE YOU DADDY! Happy b-day even though you are no longer with us I think of you everyday. Your loving daughter.

[Salvette]

Happy Birthday to your Daddy! My dad's birthday was 2 months to the day of his death, it was hard, Father's Day was extremely hard, Easter was the worst, not because of any religious reasons, but I guess cause it was the first "holiday" without him. I brought some balloons to his grave, and one flower. I felt like, I would never give him flowers for his birthday, so I'm getting balloon and some "Happy Birthday" scrat-off lotto tickets, on his birthday. I won $100. I never win from those things, then I kept getting winning one's, $10, $5, etc. It made me feel like he was with me.
_________________
"You are the Wind Beneath My Wings"
I hope you have found peace now daddy, I love you forever! Can't wait to see you on the other side. ~ 1940-2010~
Tattoo Pics: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=31354750&l=7e76de2b7c&id=1015258011

[daddygone]

Thanks Sally,
You are very thoughtful and kind your father must have been very proud of you. Great idea about the balloons; maybe i'll do the same will make me feel close to my dad on his special day. Thank you. Bonnie

[Salvette]

Thank you Bonnie, I miss him more every day, I had a tattoo done for him last month and it looks awesome, I'm proud to have "him" on my shoulder, I want everyone to know how much I loved him and miss him. I know he was always the one he was proud of and talked about. On a different note, my mother in law is losing her fight with lung cancer, she is in a hospice facility but I think can only stay another week, after that she is coming to my and my husband's house since I don't work, his other family works during the day, and we didn't want to put her in a nursing home. I love her like she was my own mother, it is sad to know she is dying, but she is in so much pain. I think it will be good for me to have her here, but we'll see what happens, I don't think she has anymore than a few weeks left, but she is a fighter!

Sally
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"You are the Wind Beneath My Wings"
I hope you have found peace now daddy, I love you forever! Can't wait to see you on the other side. ~ 1940-2010~
Tattoo Pics: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=31354750&l=7e76de2b7c&id=1015258011

[tangeen]

Today is my dad's birthday. He took his life on 9/28/10, this is the first without him here. I went to work today so I wouldn't have time to think about it. Not really sure how else to handle it. I love him and miss him. He would have been 64 years old.

[Vicki]

My son Taylor committed suicide Aprill 22,2008. This is the 3rd birthday without him. He should be 21, a young adult. One of the hardest things for me is thinking about all the experiences in life he is missing. He suffered 6 years with depression and anxiety and that is just not right that a child should have to go through that. His life as a carefree, friends and sports filled life was taken away from him even before he died. He was a wonderful little boy that really loved life, sports, school ,friends, music,video games and all the other things that appeal to little boys but that all changedwhen he turned 12. I mourn his passing, the saddness and pain he suffered and all that he never will have. I often think of Dawn and know how she must of felt and the desperation and pain a mother feels when she looses her child. If it wasn't for my friends, doctor, my medications and my daughter I'm sure I would also have committed suicide just to be with my son. I am doing better and an no longer suicidal but I know my life will never be the same without my boy.
I will love you for always and miss you forever Taylor!

[Ronnie Walker]

Here is a link to a book about near death experiences. It is in our bookstore.

http://astore.amazon.com/allianceofhopeblogstore-20/detail/1587613182
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Ronnie Walker, MS, LCPC
Executive Director, Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors

Visit our website at www.forsuicidesurvivors.org